Discover JOMO:
The Joy of Missing Out
6th september 2020
Move over FOMO (The Fear of Missing Out)
Its time to Discover JOMO – The JOY of Missing Out
Nowadays we are ALL connected, ALL the time.
Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. Snapchat.
Tweets. Posts. Stories. Hashtags.
It is unmistakable that we are living in the age of social media.
Yet despite all this increased connection, new literature reveals the true cost of the digital age. Rates of global mental illness, loneliness, burnout, and suicides have reached unparalleled heights. Ironically, despite have thousands of friends on Facebook, many people have very few ACTUAL friends they can rely on when times get tough or they need help.
Firstly, we will address the not-so-good aspects of FOMO and how it perpetuates in our society. Secondly, we will explore where the new concept of JOMO came from and what it means. Thirdly we will look at the guiding principles and practice points to help you embrace JOMO.
Why is FOMO so bad?
FOMO is the phenomenon known as the Fear of Missing Out. FOMO is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as:
“Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media”.
It is this anxiety that drives us to be available 24/7, always say yes to attending events, taking phone calls and being available to work at a moments notice. Secondly, FOMO is also one of the main reasons social media has such a pervasive presence in our lives.
We have all fallen victim to FOMO at some stage or another. Attending a fancy dinner at a restaurant because you didn’t want to miss out or going to after-work drinks even though you were exhausted and just wanted to sleep or accepting a promotion at work at the expense of spending time with your family.
Who is To Blame?
Social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are designed to be addictive. The layout, colours and notifications of these platforms have been designed to keep you coming back for more. The constant stream of likes, thumbs up, dings, pings and pokes release bursts of dopamine in our brain that makes us addicted to the instant gratification that each platform provides.
A Facebook post is judged on the number of “likes” it can attract. Similarly, an Instagram post is judged by the number of “hearts” it gets. Twitter and “re-tweeting” is much the same. Instead of checking these platforms for a minute, we end up spending hours and hours scrolling through an endless vortex of content.
Every minute we spend on social media, is a minute less we spend doing activities we truly value – enjoying time with family and friends and engaging in hobbies we are passionate about. Furthermore, the level of addiction on these social media platforms can lead to a heightened sense of anxiety if we feel our lives do not compare to those of others as portrayed on social media.
What is JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) all about?
How do we overcome our fear of missing out (FOMO)?
The answer is embracing the relatively new phenomenon of JOMO or the Joy of Missing Out. This concept has been around since the early 2010’s. It is the younger, happier, more fulfilled cousin of FOMO.
JOMO is defined as “pleasure gained from enjoying one’s current activities without worrying that other people are leading more fulfilled lives.”
It is a movement that has taken the newer generation by storm. It involves taking conscious decisions to disengage from our increasingly digital lives and re-engage in activities that bring us true joy.
Principles behind JOMO
Here are the 3 principles behind JOMO:
1. Reflect:
Take the time to breakdown how you currently spend your time. Do you have an appropriate balance between work and life? Do you feel yourself being pulled in a certain direction all the time? Review how you spend your time in relation to your long-term goals. Are you current habits conducive to meeting those goals?
2. Disconnect:
The JOMO movement is all about re-evaluating your priorities and developing habits to achieve those goals. Don’t be afraid to take a digital detox. After a small withdrawal period, you may even find yourself enjoying time offline. Read a book, cook a meal from scratch, watch the sun set or simply breathe.
3. Reconnect:
Take the time to re-engage with the people around you in ways that are conducive to REAL human connection. Spend time with your family without worrying what your friends are doing. Have meaningful conversations and really get to know the people around you
10 Ways to Embrace JOMO
1. Your time is YOUR time
You are in control of what you do with your time. Schedule activities that are important to you and prioritize these. This could be exercising, reading, catching up with friends, completing a project or trying out a new hobby. Your time should be spent how you see fit – don’t worry about what other individuals are thinking or doing. Evaluate what’s important to you and make time for it.
2. Live in the NOW
We all have bad days. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you’ve just received good news, then take the time to celebrate it.
3. Be grateful for what you DO have instead of worrying about what you DON’T have
Social media often leads us down the garden path of longing for things we DON’T have. E.g. you need the latest iPhone, the latest TV or the latest sneaker.
No one has it all. But almost everyone can find something that they are grateful for. Is it spending time with your friends or family? Or watching a beautiful sunset?
4. Embrace the Digital Detox
- Set daily limits on social media usage
- Follow select social media accounts that don’t trigger your FOMO or imbibe negative thoughts
- It’s okay to turn your phone off too! You don’t have to be contactable 24/7.
5. Learn to say “No”
Learning to say no is hard. It can often lead to you internalizing feelings such as “What will they think of me” or “I’m not going to be invited to the next event”. But the reality is, we can’t be everywhere, and we certainly can’t do everything. You do not always have to go out to that event or take that phone call.
6. Reality is Awesome. Check it out.
The best part about JOMO is that it gives you ultimate freedom to experience real life (the one that isn’t spent scrolling on your phone). So whilst you are taking embracing the digital detox, why not go outside and check out was reality has to offer. For instance, go for a swim at the beach, enjoy a hike in nature, take a relaxing stroll around the block or cook a nice meal for family and friends to enjoy.
7. Embrace the Silence
Noise is optional guys. Sometimes it is just nice to enjoy the peace and quiet. Drive to work without the radio/music on. Use time waiting in traffic to explore your thoughts. Waiting for a doctor’s appointment? Why not read a book instead of scrolling through social media?
8. Be Kind and Talk to Others
You would be amazed from what you can learn from the people around you. Take the time to be kind to others. Take 30 seconds out of your day to acknowledge your fellow human being with a simple “Good morning” or “How are you”. You never know – you might just make someone’s day. Reconnecting with real human beings is SO much more satisfying than scrolling through pictures of models on Instagram.
9. Slow Down
- No one ever said life has to be lived at 100 miles per hour
- Take time to do things at half pace
10. Design JOMO-friendly environments at home
- Create spaces that foster activities outside of the digital bubble
- Make a nice nook by the window for reading
- Design an open kitchen space for cooking and entertaining
- Have storage options for technology. Hide your laptop or phone
- Don’t charge your phone next to your bed
If you follow the principles and philosophy behind JOMO, you might just find yourself leading a healthier, happier, and more fulfilled existence.
At the end of their lives, people DO NOT REGRET not working hard enough, missing out on work drinks, or skipping annual Christmas parties. On the other hand, most people DO REGRET not spending enough quality time with their families or not pursuing their childhood passions or not embarking on that epic adventure they had always planned.
Life is all about finding your passion and pursuing it with a vengeance.
I hope you find yours.
Doctor Nisha
